#umm i think my favourite batman villain was the riddler

[kjclfaller]

I'm not gonna get xiao I'm not gonna get xiao imnotgonnagetxiao ESPECIALLY because he's fricking GREEN

[burningcollectionsandwich]

telltale batman headcanons

• John went slightly insane with a soap dispenser he finds in the train station bathrooms, sending bubbles everywhere, until Harley comes in, smashes the soap dispenser with her hammer and drags a disappointed john out by the arm • The reason why bane never takes his mask of is because his facial muscles have become that large that his mask is literally stuck on his head • Whenever Mr freeze is talking about science stuff, riddler would get jealous over how smart Mr freeze is then he is and would immediately shout “shut up papa smurf!” • John falls out of bed every morning due to Harley waking him up by slamming her hammer on his room door just to scare him • Bruce would sometimes get lost in Wayne major and has to call Alfred to come get him • When the pact gets bored, they would play games like arrow roulette (it normally ended with bane pulling a muscle and tripping over, Mr freeze landing in a puddle freezing it in the process, cat woman watching where the arrow is and ends up running into a pole, john is stood in the middle laughing until Harley has to run back in and drag him out the middle, and riddler ends up getting hit by the arrow) • Every time he lost to a game of checkers, john would flip the table, sending playing pieces everywhere. The same thing happens when he wins. • When Harley applies her makeup, she would sometimes sneeze, sending makeup powder everywhere • John acts younger than his actual age because due to him not remembering his past/name/age, he thinks he’s younger than he actually is, hence the reason why he acts younger • Bane would sometimes drive up to the country side just to steal tires off tractors, due to the tires he punches repeatedly breaking • John played a lot of pranks on riddler (sometimes with the help of Harley if she wasn’t in a bad mood). For example, pouring water on him then throwing flour on him, or drawing moustaches on his face when he was sleeping, and that’s why riddler spent most days in his secret hide out. • Harley has tried to diagnose john with a mental disorder after they joined the pact, but has repeatedly failed due to his behaviour around her and others. She gave up on the case study • John doesn’t really realise what he’s wearing/dressed like due to not having a mirror in his little house. He just grabs random clothes, forgets to tuck the other side of his shirt in his trousers, puts on odd shoes and socks, and slicks his hair back, missing a small speck of hair while thinking “meh, this will do” • Whenever the pact needs to create a distraction in order to get past agents/guards, john would automatically jump up, playing really loud songs on his phone and start randomly dancing (sunglasses included) while the others sneak past (it would probably be something like that family guy safety dance diversion scene except not with a fake moustache, just his gold/brown sun glasses) • When Bruce visited john in Arkham, he gave him a get well soon card similar to the card john gave Bruce at the funeral, which caused john to automatically randomly start crying (john cry’s a lot in the game) • When a store worker realised that some clothes were missing from the display, they found a little note saying “FOR THE GREATER GOOD – joker” • After the end fight on the vigilante root, I can imagine joker and batman just sitting, staring awkwardly at each other, until joker says “sooooooo………isn’t it weird how I can still move my fingers with a batarang through my hand?” edit I had this weird thought, "what would bruce do if he found an extremely drunk john (like more drunk then the scene in Harley's office) at the bar?" and I came up with the scenario: bruce walks into the bar and sees john sat at a table whos rocking back and forth a little bit. bruce sits down opposite john, and john looks at him with his eye half shut as if hes about to pass out at any moment. I can imagine john hardly saying anything because hes that drunk, just talking in slow motion with slurred speech like "...........bbbbbbbb......bbbrrrrrrrrrrrrruce". all the sudden john hiccups and face palms the table, bruce asks if hes alright and john gives him a thumbs up, with his face still on the table. the scene just ends with bruce helping john actually stand up outside the bar with a cell phone in his hand talking to Harley like: Harley: "heya rich boy" bruce: "uh Harley we have a umm a bit of a problem" Harley: "did john get out and get drunk at the bar again?" bruce: "..........yeah" Harley: "*deep sigh* alright ill be there in five minutes, make sure he doesn't wonder off" bruce: "I......don't think that will be a problem..." i can also imagine johns favourite song being "bat out of hell" by meat loaf, and when he plays the song, he plays it really loudly on his phone while playing air guitar when he's in his little house or home/train station alone (for whoever doesn't know what air guitar is, its like your playing guitar.....but without the guitar. yar I'm not good at explaining stuff) when i was playing telltale batman season 2, my brother walked and randomly asked "does that train station have any baths or showers? because everyone looks really clean" and I paused the game and I just sat there looking at him like ".....................why the hell are you asking me this?", so me and him made up a scenario: john is sitting in his little house, his clothes covered in dust, dirt and cobwebs due to the train station being kinda old, reading a book until Harley walks in and says "hey john, come out here for a sec". so john follows and Harley tells him to stand in place and don't move. johns confused but he doesn't question it, until hes knocked over by a massive blast of water, cuts to Harley holding one of those hoses that you find on fire engines, that connected to a fire hydrant. john stands up, completely drentched and harley just turns around saying "whos next?" and it just cuts to bane, freeze and riddler running away. and that's why john wears different outfits in season 2. (john with wet hair probably looks like jokers hair from injustice 2 or something or when the jokers hair does infront of his face when Barbra shouts in his ear using a megaphone in the lego batman movie (john and the lego joker are the same person I swear to god)) when ever john gets angry or sad/upset in Arkham, dr Leland would confort him (stuff like pat on the shoulder or back, hugs, words. I don't know) as dr Leland is the only doctor john can actually stand in Arkham

when the villain joker was shaving his eye brows, he sneezed and ended up shaving one of his eye brows off